Innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilaihi rooji'uun. Mr. Sutomo--Endra's father, my father-in-law-- had passed away on September 16, 2004 at 7 pm at the Navy Hospital (RSAL) Mintohardjo, Jakarta.
It was a sudden loss to us, since he still went to work on that Thursday morning. He felt very pain in his stomach and was advised to go to the hospital. Ibu, Anto, Yoyok and Sissy were on his side when he passed away. Only Endra and me didn't make it to be there. Endra was on his way home from Cibitung while I was at home in Bintaro.
I remember the first time I met Bapak. It was back in 1994, at Lebak Bulus Bus Station. "Temannya Endra (She's Endra's friend)", Ibu said. In those days, Endra and me were involved in the same project in Yogya and we would be back to Yogya by bus. And we also started feeling something "itchy" between us.
The second time I met Bapak was at Cemara II/7, a few days after lebaran 1994. Bapak was quite a quiet person. We didn't talk much. However, it was no surprise for me if Bapak asked Endra to reconsider again Endra's decision about me. I am much older than Endra!
Time passed. Endra and I still met each other regularly. I played to Endra's house sometimes. Until one day on October 1997, Endra's parents came to meet my parents. Several weeks later, Endra's families came for a lamaran.
We wed at March 14, 1998. Since then, I called Bapak with "Bapak" (I called him "Oom" before). I consider Bapak as my own father. Despite his quiet personality, actually Bapak was caring and had a good sense of humor.
Bapak always looked happy when we visited him and Ibu at Cemara. He always gave us his smile. Actually, he always smiled at us whenever and wherever he met us! He always informed us that there was something to eat in the kitchen or in the fridge.
I felt closer to Bapak since I had a chance to accompany him at the Bintaro International Hospital (RSIB). Bapak went to an internist to examine his liver condition. His condition made him stayed at RSAL "Mintohardjo" for about two to three weeks. In the hospital, Bapak asked about Endra. He was concerned about our problem. I felt his support for me to overcome the problem.
I tried hard to visit him at RSAL everyday. Even at the hospital he offered me his piece of cake (patient's food from the hospital)! "Bapak, I am so sorry that in the hospital I had troubled you with my problem" (It is my problem, it's not Endra's. Right?). He even encouraged me to tell him my story. Tell me, was there or is there any other father-in-law such like Bapak?
One moment I cannot and will not forget about Bapak: it was his presence when I had the curetage on Friday night, June 25, 2004. To be honest, I didn't expect him to be at the hospital. I knew that Bapak must be tired, coming home from work. But, together Bapak and Ibu accompanied me at the hospital. Even Endra hadn't come yet from his office. Bapak-Ibu presence at that time was such a strengthening, supportive and comforting act for me. I am one of the very, very lucky daughter-in-law in the world! Allah, alhamdulillah.
I met Bapak again several times more. Bapak, Ibu, oom and tante Abi, Avi, Rati and Iwan came to Kuricang on Sunday, June 27, 2004. We met again on the Independence Day and at August 22, 2004 in Cilandak. Eyang was in Jakarta at the time. As usual, seeing us, Bapak smiled at us. Endra and me went to Cemara on Saturday, September 4, 2004. In fact, I didn't remember Bapak much on this day.
Looking back through the past ten years, I felt very lucky to have Bapak (and Ibu) as father (and mother)-in-law. All my memories about Bapak was good and sweet. He was an inspirational, caring and loving person. His hard work, kindness, sense of humor, calmness, empathy and sympathy, all were examples for us.
"Bapak, thank you for letting me to be a member of your family; thank you for giving me a chance to be your daughter. It was, it is (and I believe it will be) the sweetest time in my life. Thank you. May God bless you, always".
